What to do when you’re feeling negative emotions.
Have you ever found yourself feeling some negative emotions… and you just want them to GO AWAY? In this article, I'm breaking down a mindset block around our negative emotions, and giving you a few tips and tricks to use those feelings to help guide you on your journey!
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Before we get started, I need you to know: You are ALLOWED to have feelings, and you are allowed to FEEL your feelings! If you’ve grown up around people who are “thinkers,” then it may feel like you’re doing something illogical to lean in to your feelings (or maybe you feel shame around how much you feel!)… but, I promise you, they are a GIFT.
Your feelings, positive OR negative, can actually help you create the kind of life you want to live.
Here’s what to do when you’re feeling negative feelings:
Sit with The Negative Feelings:
When you’re feeling some type of way (angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, stressed, etc), it’s very normal to want to “skip” past the feeling. You might try to ignore it, or tell yourself it’s stupid to feel that way. The good news: Feelings often take about 2-3 minutes to process. So… you’re not stuck here forever. And then ones that take more time… well, we’ve got a new process for those.Think of them as Warning Signs:
A client sent me a message one time, saying that she could tell that a feeling was “coming back,” and then she asked me “How do I get rid of it?” And my response was “Don’t try to get rid of it. It’s trying to TELL you something! Let’s get curious about it.” When you feel negative feelings, remember that they’re warning signs. Maybe you need better boundaries, some time alone, or something’s going on with your hormones!Notice/Track Your Feelings:
The next time you’re feeling a negative emotion, notice it, and track it, if you can. Do you notice that the same thoughts or frustrations are coming up over and over again? Is it happening at the same time every month (Hello, PMS!) Is it actually revealing a pattern in a relationship that needs some communication? If you struggle to see patterns, ask someone you trust to help you notice them.Ask WHY you’re feeling this way:
Instead of trying to SKIP negative feelings, sit down with your journal (or open a note in your phone!) and try the “5 Why’s” technique. First, write down what you’re feeling, and then ask yourself “Why?” Write the first answer that comes into your mind! Ask “Why?”until you find the root cause! You’ll often KNOW when you‘ve found it because you’ll get chills, or a “lightbulb moment” feeling. Once you find the ROOT CAUSE, you can start to do something about it!
All of these tips have helped me to stop skipping over my negative feelings, and get curious about them! It’s helped me learn that I need to speak up, set better boundaries, and ask for help! Remember:
Sometimes our feelings aren’t logical,
but they end up making a lot of sense!
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